General
Golf
A lifelong hobby that turned into my job
Growing up, my dad would take my mom and me out to the golf course with him a lot. There are only two things I can tell you about those trips. The first thing, being the only part I was interested in, was playing in the sand traps. The only way my parents could get me out was by telling me there was another on the next hole. The other memory, documented by pictures, is my mom having a beautiful backswing and follow-through, but the ball still in the same place.
My dad would take me to play with him and his best friend/my godfather, my Uncle Dane. We all had the best time together. As we played more together, I started going to golf camps more and more too. I was taking lessons at home and while we were on vacation in Michigan. I was trained by some great coaches and missed out on some great opportunities too. I was very involved in learning the sport, but it never developed into a passion. I played in high school from my sophomore through senior year and worked at my home course as an outside worker, which was my first job. After that my senior season, I didn’t play until my last semester of college, the spring of 2023. I played a couple of times at a course near Virginia Tech, planning on playing in my sorority’s tournament with some friends.
Before I started playing again, I had an interview at a start-up business that does trade-in events at different country clubs across the country to buy used golf clubs to resell them online. The timing didn’t work out at the time, but I accepted a job there in August and have been there ever since. I started in the production/listing department, where I got to handle the products and learn details about golf clubs and equipment to an extent I never would have comprehended days before I started. A couple of months ago I got a promotion and have been more involved in marketing and event planning. I have made numerous connections in the last couple months and am proud of what I accomplished so far. My job has immersed me in the golf world deeper than I had imagined I ever would be.
Golf is a unique and difficult sport. It’s easily accessible (there are golf clubs, quite literally, everywhere), intricate, and a solo sport. It’s fun to try out new courses because they bring new challenges, but also, so does every round. You can only rely on yourself for the quality of your game, and that is infuriating yet nice also. You never know where any ball is generally going to end up until you complete your follow through. Golf brings people together and I have learned that much more since I started my new position.
Throughout my life, I have felt differently about the sport as a whole. It’s frustrating to play but can also be so fun. I have some light goals related to golf, not only in my game but also in my career, and I hope I can achieve them!
The Importance of Alone Time
The most simple necessity
Throughout the chaos of life, sometimes all you need is to take a night to yourself just to relax. I think nowadays, it’s harder to recognize when you need a break. While mental health awareness is on the rise, there is a lot of discussion paired with not as much personal action. Of course, there is a lot being done to help those with mental health issues, but the most simple and beneficial things you can do, it just take some time to yourself.
I remember one of my last nights in college, I was walking home from a bar. There was a guy behind me who was on the phone and walking in the same direction as me. I was playing music on the walk home and a conversation sparked. It started with me giving him girl advice and ended with one of the deepest conversations I’ve ever had with anyone. We talked about school, relationships, trauma and more. He talked to me about how he got in a car accident when he was driving his roommate's car which led to him being out of school for at least a semester. This led him to be behind in school and his social life. He talked about how he felt burnt out between these two things even after exams were done. Balancing work and a personal life can be difficult, especially when you’re someone who has a hard time saying no. I compared his situation to the grind mentality, which I have also discussed ‘Our Need For Speed’. In his life, this guy was trying to fit in all the time he could with his friends before they graduated on top of studying for his difficult major. Similar to the grind mentality, he felt like he couldn’t “waste time” doing “nothing”. I felt the need to remind him, it’s ok to do “nothing”. Sometimes you just need a reset and a day or night off can be the perfect cure. Obviously, I got a little deeper into the conversation with this kid than I will in this piece, but the conversation made him tear up. He said he was getting emotional because he appreciated the reminder that it’s ok to not be ok, but it’s also ok if your social and mental batteries are dead. Take the time you need to charge them.
His reaction to this topic helped me understand that not everyone thinks the way that I do when it comes to this subject. I have always been someone who doesn’t hesitate to put myself first. I know it sounds selfish, but it shouldn’t. It should be normal to prioritize your well being as consistently as you need it. I need at least one night a week to myself. Life gets busy and you just have to take a breather sometimes.
If you take away anything from this piece, let it be this. Always prioritize yourself. Taking time to yourself is crucial and refreshing.
Surviving your 20’s, coming from a woman in her 20’s
What I’ve experienced without much experience
Being a woman in your 20’s is hard. You’re recently fully independent, figuring out what you want to do career wise, meeting people post-grad is quite difficult, and men suck. Everything is new. Living in a new place or at home, you’re exploring something new, whether it’s a city or managing a new relationship of living with your parents post-grad. Everyone’s story is different but there are some ideas I have thought of that I wanted to share. I’ve made a list and I hope it makes sense and is actually helpful.
You are the only person in charge of your life. Do whatever you want! No one is stopping you from doing anything your heart desires so do whatever you would like!
One of the only things out of our control is time, so make the most of it. I’ve recently realized the real meaning of ‘you only live once’. Live your life to the fullest and do everything, especially while you’re young!
Always prioritize yourself. If you aren’t feeling up to going out with your friends over the weekend, never hesitate to say no. I think a lot of people our age are people pleasers and are nervous to say no to hanging out with friends because they don’t want to seem lame or disappoint their friends. But, sometimes at the end of the day all you want to do is lay in bed and watch TV while you’re scrolling through every app on your phone and end your peaceful night with a nice book. Put yourself before everything. Mental health is no joke and you don’t want to wear yourself out. Do what recharges you.
Figure out what you want to do career wise. Keep in mind that nothing is set in stone. There are a million different kinds of jobs in this world and I recommend doing the research to find what you really want to do. If you have a degree, you don’t necessarily have to limit yourself to what you studied in school. I studied sociology and upon further research I learned I want to be involved in the food industry.
Mentors. When you are figuring out what you want to do career wise, I recommend finding the people who are doing that job. Reach out and offer to meet for coffee. I have used this time to ask questions about how this person got to where they are in their career and how they built their brand. It’s helpful to hear a variety of stories, make connections, and it leads to such helpful advice.
Do new things around your city. If you’re living in a new city or back in your hometown, try new things! Whether it’s food, a walk, a museum, etc, explore! You never know where your new favorite thing is hiding! I wish that I explored the other parts of my city sooner!
People come and go. Throughout my life, I’ve made some great friends. I thought they were going to be there for the rest of my life. But things change and people grow. Whether you grow out of each other, they did you dirty or physical distance separated you, it’s ok to lose friends. Sometimes it hurts more than heartbreak, but it helps you grow as a person.
Confidence is key. Surrounding yourself with people who allow you to be your most true and authentic self. It will help you gain so much confidence and it is absolutely for the best.
Work and life. Sometimes it’s hard to not feel like work is your life. I currently work a 9-5 desk job and I can confidently say it is not for me. But what keeps me going is doing little things throughout the week. Going out to dinner/spending time with friends and having a project to work on that doesn’t feel like work (all the time)(this website, diamond painting, etc) are my favs.
Boys are out, men are in. Playing games is boring and tiring. Be with someone who makes you confident in your relationship.
Celebrate achievements. Sometimes all I want for the little wins in life are sushi and doughnuts. And that’s all I need. Give yourself a little treat!
TW: Eating Disorder
My recovery
My ED Journey
About a year ago, I finally hit my goal weight after trying for many years. In this piece, I have taken something that I wrote when I had managed to hold my goal weight for about a week and just edited it a little bit recently. This is a subject that I am quite open about when it happens to come up because it was something that I struggled with for a while and helped me become who I am today. Food is a huge part of my life and this helped me build a healthy relationship with it. I will admit, some bad days roll around but it happens so rarely that it’s nothing I’m ever worried about but I still like to recognize that it happens and it’s still a part of who I am today.
It has taken me about 4 1/2 years to finally hit my goal weight after realizing I had eating problems. I have maintained this weight for a little over a week now and want to share my story just cause this account is my safe space (so is this blog). I refer to this issue as my eating problems and not a disorder because I can’t really find one to classify it as. I talk about my parents in this a couple times and even though we had some rough patches together through this, I know they just wanted me to be healthy. Food and cooking is one of the biggest parts of my family which made this kind of confusing and a challenge to my parents. I left out a lot of details during this story and before this timeline began, but there were a lot of emotions involved throughout the course of this story but I guess we're getting into it.
My first semester of college (2018) was a rollercoaster of emotions but I was very focused on my classes and was still taking the same ADD medication I had started in high school. My parents knew that the medication affected my appetite but not to its fullest extent. My first semester, I was still dating my first serious boyfriend who I saw just about every day and we almost always had dinner together. Sometimes I would snack after having dinner and he would consistently call me 'fatass’. Between that 'nickname' and losing my appetite, I stopped eating breakfast and lunch and started doing 70 flights of stairs on the stairmaster almost every day. This caused me to lose a bunch of weight. After that relationship ended at the end of the year, my parents recognized my terrible eating habits and brought me to the doctor who recommended I go to a nutritionist.
At that point, I was a little less than 100 pounds. I started seeing my nutritionist, Susan (a full blown angel), and felt like I was on track. We set the goal weight (which is what I finally hit last year). After seeing Susan for a few months, my mom talked to me about what was going on and said something along the lines of 'we're spending all this money on help and you're not getting better.’ When she said that, I felt like I needed to lie about the progress I was making because I was really struggling with the process. I started writing more food in my food journal than I had actually eaten and told my parents I weighed more than I actually was. I told Susan I didn't need to see her anymore and that was that. In my mind, I had tricked myself and everyone else that I was fine.
Early 2021, I started struggling again. Since I had told everyone I was fine I was eating somewhat better. But I didn't tell many people what my new issue was: every month for a week (on the dot) I wouldn't eat anything all day but a very small dinner. In my mind it was ok because after that week I would go back to eating lunch and dinner everyday. It was a routine that I was ok with. Then one time, that week and a half turned into two weeks and I was just caught completely off guard. I couldn't get back into eating normally and was sobbing when food was in front of me. Not because I didn't want to eat it but because I couldn't bring myself to eat it at all. I wanted to eat but the actual thought of eating a piece of bread or fruit made me want to throw up. Sometimes I would sit with food in front of me for a couple hours and just cry. I was losing weight again but didn't really tell anyone what was going on. My confidence was gone and I didn't like looking at myself in the mirror because I was so disappointed in myself. Eventually after a month of not eating very consistently (there were good and bad days), I called my dad to tell him I needed to see Susan again and once I started seeing her again it was great. I talked to her every week for an hour and that later turned into twice a month for 30 minutes. She could tell I wanted to hit my goal weight that we had set so long ago and trusted me to put the work in. She retired in the summer of 2022 which meant I was now independent in my eating journey.
I had help from people who knew how much this meant to me but I was still struggling. I was doing everything I could to try different techniques and foods to help. What I started doing was making a meal plan every week that made me excited to eat and cook. The system I have now makes me excited to eat everyday rather than it being a chore. I am proud of my progress and am trying to work on myself in other parts of my life now that I don't have to put all my energy into this. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions and quite the journey. But I'm just happy to be where I am now. This may be silly to share but I would shout it from the rooftops if I could even if no one cared.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk :) <3
You may be wondering why I wrote about this, but I promise there is a purpose. When I posted this last year, I was nervous how people were going to view me. I had received some negative comments from some people in my past who I don’t think really understood how difficult this is. But I was so relieved with receiving the kindest words from friends and family that made me happy I shared my story. My goal with sharing this is to let people who are in similar situations know that they’re not alone. A lot more people than you think are struggling with issues like this. When I was still in recovery, I felt like I was never going to get better. No matter the time it takes, the good and bad days, how many people are supporting you or not, the hard work pays off. Everyone’s story is different and there’s no one way to recover. For the people who have a difficult relationship with food or eating, you have my heart and I am confident you will be comfortable in your body soon.
My first peak in life
Bull Moose Party
Sometimes, the best things in life happen by accident. And that’s exactly what happened when I joined a band my friends were starting. I had some friends at University of Virginia that were looking for a female lead singer for their new band. They had a couple girls try out, and then one day we were hanging out and we just messed around with Amy Winehouse’s ‘Valerie’ and the next day they asked me to join. I excitedly said yes with no expectation of what was to come. When thinking of names, we went through a few options but in the end we landed on Bull Moose Party (like Teddy Roosevelt’s political party). We started off slow, with a practice show just with friends and family then moved to shows in public such as bars or house parties. We were a pretty large band consisting of 7 people. 2 lead singers, lead guitar, rhythm guitar, bass guitar, keys, and drums (my favorite). I loved everyone in the band and still wouldn’t replace a single person.
To be honest, I’m not exactly sure how we got to the point that we ended on. Not to toot our horn, but we got decently big within the Charlottesville community and a little bit outside of it. We mainly played events at UVA such as formals, parties, birthdays, etc. But we also played at breweries, other schools (Washington and Lee, Longwood, Hampden Sydney), wedding parties, etc. We almost played at a music festival in DC but it ultimately got canceled because of freezing wind. We had split up in May 2022 because of graduations and people moving. But we got back together for one performance, which was to open for Sean Kingston in the John Paul Jones Arena in Charlottesville for UVA’s welcome week. That’s a story I might get into another time.
When the band started, I was still living in Charlottesville about to move to Blacksburg to start school at Virginia Tech. I knew I couldn’t give up the band because at that point it was my life. That led to me traveling just about every weekend my first year there. I had a total of 6 weekends in Blacksburg. From afar, I was also managing the band as well as our money. I’ll admit, there came a time where the band was taking such a large toll on me to the point where I almost quit a few times. But ultimately, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get the time back so I stuck with it because I also knew we were going to split up soon.
I am so thankful for the experience, opportunity, and just everyone/everything involved. Our friends and families were our biggest supporters and we wouldn’t have been as successful as we were without them. There was something about getting on stage, seeing the people who care most about you in the crowd and giving them a good time they’ll remember. I wouldn’t trade Bull Moose Party for literally anything. It truly was the time of life. Fingers crossed I can get back to that point some day.
Happier Than Ever
by Billie Eilish
JPJ Arena, August 2022
Our last night at UVA
May 2022
In my element
Wasian
I am thankful that I grew up in such a beautiful town. But central Virginia doesn’t have a very big Asian population in general, especially Filipinos. When we lived in Las Vegas, my parents were very involved in the Filipino community greatly due to them starting their website ‘Filipino Village’. Their website led to large functions with loads of yummy Filipino food (which will always be my favorite part of Filipino parties).
In 2023, I was lucky enough to see my extended family twice. In June, my aunt got married in San Francisco and that meant staying in a house with 17 of my family members and I was so thankful to spend that time with them. For Christmas, my parents and I went back to the same house and it was a lot more relaxed. It was my mother’s sister, her husband and my cousin with some more extended family sprinkled throughout the week. I love my family so much. As soon as we see each other after being separated for however long, I feel pure comfort. When I’m with them I really embrace our culture and I’m so proud to be Filipino. Not just when I’m with them, but all the time. I love telling people I’m half Filipino and Italian. I love talking about my parents because they are my best friends. But when we’re with our extended family, I’m finally surrounded with people who have been there my whole life and they look like me. Like I said earlier, I am thankful to have grown up in Charlottesville, but I wish I had more accessibility to Filipino culture. I’m excited for the places I live throughout my life and I hope I am able to find a community that will serve me lumpia, pancit, garlic rice, sinigang, etc. ;)
There’s no one else I’d rather be
Throughout my life, I’d had people play guessing games on my ethnicity, whether or not I’m aware of it. It doesn’t bother me as much as I think it should, but it’s just what I’ve always known. My mother is from the Philippines and my father is a New Jersey Italian, but he doesn’t quite fit the stereotype that comes to everyone’s mind. I grew up in Las Vegas and moved to Charlottesville, Virginia two weeks before my 10th birthday. Vegas has a huge Filipino community that I grew up with and it was quite a culture shock moving to an area with no Filipinos and I began to feel out of place. I was used to being one of the few asian people in my grade, but then I became one of the few in the whole school. Not only was I in a new environment with less people that looked like me, but we also moved farther away from my mom’s side of the family.
I don’t want this to sound like I dislike where I grew up because that is not the case.